I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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