Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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