Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
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so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
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he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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