she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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