my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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