My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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