My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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