Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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