Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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