Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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