its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
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Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
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he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
All the doctor said was why
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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