..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
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Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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