sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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