Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize