we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
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you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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