i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize