I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize