Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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