why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
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I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
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it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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