Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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