Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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