I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
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