she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize