i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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