Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize