it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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