he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
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Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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