yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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