one two three fourrrrnication!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
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I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
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Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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