the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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