im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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