Texts From Last Night

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  ... oops

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  (217): I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity? (847): haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that. (217): ... oops http://tfl.nu/gsy7
  Replies (4) Good night (1028) Bad night (435)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.

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  (435): Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage. http://tfl.nu/k0ri
  Replies (5) Good night (1743) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."

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  (404): I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard." http://tfl.nu/a58r
  Replies (13) Good night (4148) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america

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  (631): Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america http://tfl.nu/n1lq
  Replies (27) Good night (8153) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever

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  (917): hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever http://tfl.nu/y96z
  Replies (7) Good night (1995) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.

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  (225): all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices. http://tfl.nu/vgow
  Replies (31) Good night (7244) Bad night (1041) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.

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  (734): They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you. http://tfl.nu/tuzf
  Replies (5) Good night (2213) Bad night (685)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.

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  (604): After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me. http://tfl.nu/m19j
  Replies (5) Good night (1545) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech

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  (603): Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech http://tfl.nu/2ee5
  Replies (3) Good night (1005) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.

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  (904): You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/g46j
  Replies (6) Good night (1587) Bad night (641) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish

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  (210): I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish http://tfl.nu/kpto
  Replies (10) Good night (876) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.

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  (912): If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight. http://tfl.nu/iyrl
  Replies (2) Good night (663) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.

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  (574): i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand. http://tfl.nu/cuvt
  Replies (5) Good night (333) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer

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  (860): Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer http://tfl.nu/4t5t
  Replies (2) Good night (165) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.

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  (832): Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober. http://tfl.nu/wntc
  Replies (7) Good night (863) Bad night (149) Order T-Shirt

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