i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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