I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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