I CAN MOONWALK!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
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Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
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Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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