So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize