I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
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When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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