escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
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I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
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Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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