Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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