Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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