So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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