Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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