ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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