I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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