Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize