There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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