she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
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so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
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Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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