I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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