failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I had to cum in my sink.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize