So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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